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Communication

Dealing with Extraverts or Dominant and Loud People

It is often the case that louder or more extraverted people will often dominate a discussion or one-to-one conversation and not allow the quieter people to have their full say. This is unlikely to be intentional. Extraverts enjoy thinking aloud sometimes and just have to get their ideas “off-their chest.”

One way in which to better control extraverts or loud and dominant people in discussions is to use the seven-step assertiveness script. This script can be used in almost every situation as a way of assertively inviting the other party to buy-into a more balanced and fair communication in the future.

Here is an example sequence format:

Step 1: “When you interrupt …”

Step 2: “this happens – people feel like they’re being attacked”

Step 3: “and I feel – they feel like you don’t care what they have to say”

Step 4: “Would you let some of the quieter people finish talking”

Step 5: “Because that way this would mean that they would contribute more and we could have more productive meetings”

Step 6: “They would feel more valued”

Step 7: “So what do you think? Do you think you could give this a try?”

This structured feedback sequence can be helpful because it is solution-focused and positive (and therefore assertive in its nature), rather than just telling the other party what was wrong in either an aggressive or passive manner. It is therefore worth practicing using the technique as it can be extremely valuable in many communication situations.

The featured video clip is a short excerpt from the ReadyToManage, Rapid Skill Builder eLearning program, Assertiveness: An RSB eLearning Course.

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About Dr. Jon Warner

Dr. Jon Warner is a prolific author, management consultant and executive coach with over 25 years experience. He has an MBA and a PhD in Organizational Psychology. Jon can be reached at OptimalJon@gmail.com

View all posts by Dr. Jon Warner →

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About the Editor and Primary Author

Jon Warner

Jon Warner is an executive coach and management consultant and in the past has been a CEO in three very different companies. Read more

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