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Influencing Others

Influencing Skills: Giving a Big Picture Vision to a “People Person”

August 2, 2012 by Dr. Jon Warner in Influencing Others

Influencing, like every other skill, can be learned. Many people are intuitively good influencers – they can influence or change the thinking of other people. Changes in thinking can result in a change in behavior, which in turn can change attitudes. Fundamental changes in attitude usually mean that an individual will behave in a new way in the future without needing to be influenced again to do so – in other words they have influenced themselves to accept this permanent change.

People or relationship-centered types, or what we have called “Harmonizers” for short, are usually down to earth, friendly people that like to engage in open and sincere conversations with people. Because they are generally kind, thoughtful, supportive and considerate, their influencing style is naturally ‘people friendly.’ As such, harmonizers are happy to take all other ‘types’ styles and preferences into account and take as long as necessary to get from A to B (and sometimes don’t even bother trying to get to B!). Harmonizers will therefore worry if they cannot engage in small talk and relationship building and therefore may be stubborn if they feel pushed around or bullied into something.

Harmonizers have sensitive ‘radar’ and can quickly detect insincerity. Being yourself is therefore the best way to be sincere. To remind you of some things you can do to convey your sincerity, which in turn will develop trust (the keystone to influencing Harmonizers), remember these two people: REG and RUBY.

REG: Respect, Empathy, Genuineness and RUBY: Respect, Understanding and Be Yourself.

Ways to convey all of the above include things like:

  • Listening actively and not making assumptions
  • Observing agreements
  • Disagreeing with ideas but not rejecting the person who suggested them
  • Using peoples names rather than the depersonalized ‘YOU’ or even worse ‘YOU PEOPLE’
  • Not being condescending or patronizing
  • Checking out peoples feelings and sharing you own feelings and experiences

The featured video clip is a short excerpt from the ReadyToManage, Rapid Skill Builder eLearning program, Influencing Others: An RSB eLearning Course.

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About Dr. Jon Warner

Dr. Jon Warner is a prolific author, management consultant and executive coach with over 25 years experience. He has an MBA and a PhD in Organizational Psychology. Jon can be reached at

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About the Editor and Primary Author

Jon Warner

Jon Warner is an executive coach and management consultant and in the past has been a CEO in three very different companies. Read more

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